7 Questions That Will Change How You Manage People
Are you hooked into the myth that in order to successfully manage people you must know all the answers?
Here’s the truth!
To successfully manage people you must actually know some really great questions.
When you are able to ask great questions, people become motivated, connected and empowered by the sharing of their ideas and knowledge.
When your staff comes to you needing help, instead of simply providing answers, try some of these questions and phrases instead:
That’s an interesting challenge. How have you solved similar challenges in the past?
What do you think your next step might be?
What have you already tried?
What are some of the ways you feel I can support you on this?
If you had unlimited resources, how would you solve this problem?
I like how you are thinking. How did you get to this point?
What went really well for you so far in this challenge?
These starter questions will not only help you build rapport with your staff, but will also help to foster critical thinking and proactive problem solving.
Through the dialogue created by curious questions, you’ll get insight into the challenges that are under what appears obvious.
Curious inquiries that require reflection will help to generate new ideas when people are feeling stuck. Together you and your staff will be able to co-create solutions and innovate new approaches that leave them feeling increased confidence and skillfulness.
The key to success when using curiosity is to be fully present.
You can get there by taking a few deep breaths, clearing your mind of distractions and engaging with both body language and eye contact.
Don’t try to engage in this way when you are rushed, distracted or stressed. If you do, it will backfire.
Don’t get discouraged if the other party stumbles or struggles to answer the questions. Especially if this type of dialogue is new to both of you. It takes practice to get comfortable.
To encourage more participation remember these guidelines:
Pause and hold quiet space for reflection after you ask the question. Don’t interrupt the quiet to repeat, reframe or explain the question. Just wait.
If you are unclear on the answer, simply clarify. “Let me tell you what I think I heard. You can tell me where I’ve got it right and where I’ve got it wrong”.
If the other person gives a one word or brief answer. Or says, “I don’t know”, ask them to “Say more about that”. This invitation helps people to continue talking and eventually they will get to their answer.
If you don’t agree with the answer or think you have a better idea, hold back. Nothing will reverse the positive impact of curious questions faster than telling someone their answer is wrong.
Initially there may be discomfort on both sides, as there is anytime we engage in a new behavior or way of being. But with practice and patience you will soon find that you are lessening the burden of having to know all the answers.
Do you have some of your own favorite curious questions?
I bet you do. Share them with me here or in the Navigating Challenging Dialogue Facebook group.