Expectations for Being Exceptional
I recently heard a story from a friend that I will never forget.
Denise is a retired educator and she told me that right out of college, prior to beginning as a teacher, she applied for and was accepted to a special 3-week project. She and other educators were to work with students identified as “exceptional” from a nearby Native American tribe. The educators would be teaching advanced math and science concepts.
She said it was wonderful. The students were amazing, well behaved, and hungry to learn. The educators were excited to work with such an advanced group of worthy children. Everyone did exceptional work and achieved all the expected outcomes. What a feeling!
The Power of Expectation
At the end of the program, it was revealed to the educators that these students were not the exceptional students they had been told. They were actually the students who were struggling the most.
Everyone was shocked to learn that the pilot was not to test the curriculum with advanced students but instead to study how educators’ preconceived notions of who they were teaching could impact teaching and learning.
Wow!
Her story made me wonder, what if we could all show up with the belief that everyone we are interacting with is exceptional and worthy -- at work, in our family, in life?
How would that belief change the outcome for our relationships, conversations, mentoring, management, parenting, and coaching? How could it impact our happiness at work and in our personal lives?
Be responsible for the energy you bring to the room.
The first mantra of the Navigating Challenging Dialogue® is “Be responsible for the energy you bring to the room”.
I encourage you to include the expectation that others are exceptional. And dismiss the preconceived notions or labels that may be swirling in your thoughts. Set them aside. For this moment, and that moment, and this other moment as well.
Be in the expectation that each one of us is truly exceptional, even when we are struggling, vulnerable, or emotional.
Our humanity makes us exceptional at our core.
Denise tells me that she was part of this a long time ago and she didn’t think to follow up on what the university learned or how they applied that learning.
But what Denise learned about how her preconceived notions impacted how she engaged with those students definitely impacted her entire teaching career. By choice, Denise worked primarily in underperforming and under-resourced elementary schools. And to this day, in her eyes, each child is exceptional.
Run a little experiment.
Take a moment right now and think of those you are in closest connection with. Is there someone that you’ve labeled other than exceptional?
Show up with them today in a different way. Start by considering all of the preconceived notions and negative expectations you have of them.
Then let all that go for now. Let go of the labels they’ve been assigned through the years, the stories you’ve been told about them, and meet them with a clean slate.
Show up with them as if they are exceptional and worthy. Notice what shifts both in you and in them.
Let’s start to heal this tattered and torn world by seeing each other as exceptional and worthy.